What is Femdom? Breaking Taboos and Exploring the Basics
Femdom refers to female dominance. It can take many different forms, both in and out of the bedroom. There are some key principles which involve trust, consent and a power exchange. Both the men and the women take pleasure from the dominant role being filled by a woman.
Female dominance is becoming more widespread and accepted in mainstream culture. It’s a safe exploration of kinks and fantasies and consent is always at the forefront of the interactions.
This article is the starting point of a series to introduce more people to femdom and the roles of dominance and submission. Read on to learn everything you need to know about getting started with femdom.
The Role of Femdom in BDSM
Femdom is a large part of the broader BDSM community. The main satisfaction is drawn out of the new power dynamic where the dominant female partner takes the lead and their submissive partner surrenders themselves to the experience. It doesn’t always refer to female and male dynamics, and it’s not uncommon to see two women engaging with the act.
As with most interactions between a sub and a dom, the psychological aspect is a major turn on. They have complete control over their sub-actions, desires, boundaries, and whether they experience satisfaction or not. Being part of the BDSM community, you should expect to see practices like roleplay, bondage, punishment, breath and kink play.
Dominant and Submissive Roles
Dominant Role (Female)
The female takes charge of the relationship dynamic when they’re in a dominant role. They are responsible for the experience guiding the submissive and taking control of the interaction through emotional, physical or psychological means.
Submissive Role (Male/Female)
The submissive surrenders completely to the dominant. There are other interactions within this dynamic such as threat behaviour but generally speaking they obey rules and go along with any actions the dominant initiates.
Building Trust and Communication in Femdom
When engaging with any form of BDSM, including femdom, it’s important to set clear boundaries. safewords are an excellent way to enact this. Beyond that, the participants should establish boundaries and their limits before the interaction begins.
Establishing Boundaries in Femdom
Soft Limits: Soft limits are boundaries which are not as rigid as hard limits. They require more discussion and consent but they imply the person is open to the experience.
Hard Limits: Hard limits are firm no’s. They’re non-negotiable and something that either the dom or sub is not comfortable with.
It is important to maintain constant communication before, during and after play to understand each other’s desires and boundaries. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. By establishing boundaries before you begin, you can keep the experience flowing smoothly without interruptions. Both partners should feel that they can speak out and have their preferences heard.
The Importance of safewords
Safewords are an essential part of Fendom interactions. There are specific words that both partners agree means to stop. especially important when getting into scenarios that you’re inexperienced with and should be respected at all times. If engaging in rough play there could be another action that works as a safewords as during breath play it can be hard to talk
To make sure the submissive partner feels safe, it’s important to use soft and hard limits as well as safewords. Aftercare is another important aspect, which is covered later in this guide.
The Psychology Behind Femdom: Understanding the Dominant and Submissive Roles
Femdom is not only about physical experiences. Emotional and psychological dynamics also have a role. Through understanding the role of psychology in BDSM, it’s possible to create stronger connections and improve the experience for both parties.
Some people believe that dominant and submissive play is skewed towards one partner’s pleasure more than the others. This is not true, as both partners can find pleasure in their role, whether it’s taking control or surrendering.
Dominant Role Psychology
Being a domme is an empowering experience. Aside from expressing authority and creativity in the role, they are affirmed by the amount of trust placed in them. They have a responsibility to maintain emotional intelligence at the scene by reading their submissive cues.
Submissive Role Psychology
Some people find comfort in submission. They may receive praise after meeting their domme’s expectations, and experience a sense of freedom through surrendering to their desires. If someone has a lot of responsibility in daily life it’s liberating to let loose in a structured and erotic environment.
Femdom Practices: Exploring Different Techniques and Play Styles
Femdom uses a lot of different techniques and play styles. These depend on the participants’ preferences. They involve different dominant and submissive dynamics. They can range anywhere from mild to extreme depending on experience level. If you’re starting out, start lightly. You can always increase the intensity as time goes on.
Spanking and Corporal Punishment
Spanking is one of the more common techniques. This ranges anywhere from palms to special whips and paddles, which increase the sensation. Punishment normally arises when the submissive has done something to displease their domme. It’s important to set boundaries on how much pain the submissive can take.
Bondage and Restraints
Ropes, cuffs and restraints can be used to control the submissive partner. These can be simple knots and handcuffs to complex shibari rope techniques. Ropes and restraints are particularly erotic as the sub can’t escape even if they wanted to.
Sensory Deprivation and Power Play
Control doesn’t always relate to physical dominance. Sensory deprivation through blindfolds, breath play and gags can heighten the submissive experience by removing one or more senses.
Safety in Femdom: How to Keep the Experience Safe and Enjoyable
As with any form of BDSM, consent and safety should be a top priority in Fendom. It’s important to listen to each other’s boundaries and respect any safety concerns. After all, this experience is designed to be enjoyable. Both parties should maintain their hygiene and ensure they’re looking out for the physical, emotional and mental safety of their partner.
Importance of Hygiene
Make sure you’re using the right tool for the job. Always use body safe materials and lube designed for either vaginal or anal play. As with any activity where there’s intercourse, you should use a condom for insertion and have regular health and STD checks.
Physical Safety in Femdom
When touching sensitive areas like genitals, it’s important to be gentle and to not cause long-lasting damage. Check in on the sub to ensure they’re comfortable when putting on any form of restraints or gags. When it comes to corporal punishment, pleasure should still be the priority.
Mental and Emotional Safety
When the session ends, it’s important to check in on each other. You should go through whether anything feels uncomfortable. Aftercare is important for both emotional and physical recovery. It could take the form of cuddling, talking about the experience, or asking whether there’s anything they would want to change for next time.
Femdom and Consent: Ensuring a Healthy Dynamic
Regardless of whether partners decide on gags, corporal punishment or sensory deprivation, consent should be at the forefront of their mind. It’s common for people to second guess their comfort levels and decide that they don’t wish to continue with an activity. Let shouldn’t be a contentious issue. If there are objections, change the activity, or intensity, and move on.
Understanding Enthusiastic Consent
Enthusiastic consent takes a “yes” to the next level. It should be an enthusiastic response from everyone involved. The fact that someone hasn’t said “no” to an activity does not imply consent.
The Role of Aftercare in Femdom
Aftercare refers to making sure your partner’s emotional needs are met after sex. This can make them feel cared and nurtured for. Sex, particularly in the realm of femdom, can evoke feelings of vulnerability. Aftercare increases a sense of security.
Femdom: Exploring with Confidence and Respect
When it comes to understanding dominance and submission, it’s important that trust, communication and consent are present. These are essential for a pleasurable and safe femdom experience.
Moving Forward in Femdom Play
Ready for the next steps in femdom play? We have a series of guides designed for beginners, intermediaries and advanced participants. These cover different techniques and guide you on different aspects of mental control, power dynamics, techniques and toys. Take your newfound knowledge and start slow. There’s no need to rush your journey into BDSM. Even if you’re a sub, you should feel heard and that your objections are respected.
Embracing Femdom with Confidence
Preferences change over time. Regardless of whether you’re a beginner or experienced practitioner, it’s important to maintain communication and keep experimenting together in a safe environment.
If you’re ready to continue your journey, there are other articles in this femdom series. This includes femdom practices for beginners, advanced femdom practices, the art of psychological control, advanced power and control, and Psychological Control and Roleplay Guides.
